16^th September 2024 – Kelowna (kel oh na)

Leaving Vancouver, in the last two days no additional squirrels, 0 staffies, and no bears! Hopefully we will have more success in Kelowna, our next destination.

We were meant to be heading to Jasper and Clearwater for the next three days but due to the fires we had to do some last-minute rearranging.

Not as well-known as Jasper, Kelowna is located in the heart of British Columbia’s wine region (now that’s a shame) in the Okanagan Valley. The Okanagan Lake is the main attraction for boaters, swimmers, and kiteboarders. We had none of that mind, but we were hoping for some more hikes and nature activities.

Kelowna is a 4-hour drive, around 400km, from Vancouver. Really time to stretch my wheels.

Due to the tight timeframe to get our car we didn’t manage any breakfast. Those who know him, know that my man does not cope well without food. The hangry is released and that is not good for anyone.

We assumed that there would be a roadside area with food options somewhere along the journey and we would stop to get sustenance and petrol. Of course the car came with no petrol in it.

Leaving Vancouver was a bit odd; it was like we were going for a Sunday drive, it took at least 30 minutes until we were on anything that even resembled a main road. But that is ok, it gave me a lot of time to practice my left-hand driving.  

Once we hit the open roads a few things become apparent:

1. The speed limit is more of a suggestion, or a very loose guideline. If it states 90km then 120km is the expected speed you will be driving. Otherwise you will be over taken by everyone, including large trucks and police vehicles. This is my kind of driving.
2. There are no rest stops like you see in America, you have to leave the motorway and go into a town to get refreshments.

As we hurtled along, we figure we will have to take the plunge and see the signs for petrol, café, and market. Wahoo, that is what we need fuel and food. I smoothly take the exit, yeah baby I have the hang of this driving on the wrong side of the road business, and we pull into the Local Harvest Market (The Local Harvest Market).

The café was not a place you could get food but where Jason could get a coffee. There was a little market shop with fresh fruit and vegetables, freshly baked bread, and locally made cheese.

It was super cute and the bakery looked amazing. So I embraced my inner cheese monster and bought a wheel of brie and a loaf of bread. For $36.90.

Now, when I say a wheel of cheese, I am talking 200 grams of cheese. And a small loaf of bread. OUCH. To be fair it is some of the best sourdough bread I have had in a long time, but $9.00 took my breath away, until I realised the wheel of cheese cost $27.90.

Oh well the setting was lovely, the helpful barrister let us use her VERY large carving knife (politely requesting we don’t use it to kill anyone – deal), and we sliced up the cheese for freshly made sandwich.

I did enjoy it, and if you are passing by Chilliwack, BC, pop in, try the bread and cheese. Make sure you take enough money.

We fueled up the beast and got back on the road, now the only rumbling was the sound of the road and not our stomachs.

At first, I thought I would be a well-behaved person, drive to the speed limit and obey the law. I very quickly realised I would be the only person taking this approach. Embracing the need for speed we were rocketing along in our teeny Corolla at 140kmh the speed limit, in the fastest areas, was 120kmh. There were still some trucks over taking me.

It is always worth noting that Google maps does not expect you to obey the speed limit either, all time estimations are based on the fact you are going to be speeding your arse off.

Canada, I love your roads and your relaxed approach to the speed limits. There is an exception, when driving past any road construction where people are working, EVERYONE does the right thing and slows down. Awww, you Canadians are so NICE.

With the number of animals in Canada, the vast stretches of road, and the speed of which they are travelled we did not see ANY roadkill, not one, nothing, zip, nada, zero. So, um, Canada what are you doing with these dead and wounded creatures, is it worth investigating? Is there some sort of animal recycling going on? Or can we assume they are very road wise.

If you are in the area and eating a pie or stew. Worth considering… where did this come from.

ANYHOOOO

We cruise into Kelowna and this place is STUNNING. As we drive down into the Okanagan Lake area it looks so much like Queenstown with vast mountain ranges surrounding the small town. Over the bridge and into the beautiful streets with boutique shops and in the distance, you can see vineyards and mansions hovering over the lake.

Our hotel is in the centre of town and very easy to get to (Royal Anne Hotel | Downtown Kelowna | Okanagan, BC) so we park up and move our luggage in. The hotel room is a decent size, and we have a reasonable view where we can see part of the lake and Knox Mountain, also a very dodgy ally way where the homeless and meth ridden can be easily found. So… you win some you lose some.

Exploring Kelowna is quite an eye opener, we thought that Vancouver had a drug use and homeless issue but it is nothing compared to Kelowna. Every corner there is someone sleeping, or digging up leaves, bent over and swaying, or randomly shouting at the sky. Really sad and unfortunate, according to a local there are a few reasons it is so bad here, the fact that Vancouver bused over 100s of homeless when they hosted the Olympics, the weather is really nice during summer so easy to live, and the new laws related to drug availability. Yikes.

It gets super cold here in the winter, so many go back to Vancouver during this time.

Time to get some lunch, we decided to utilise our gold-plated purchases from this morning and make some sandwiches, so we head to the local supermarket. Interestingly we could locate two supermarkets but many more cannabis stores, goes to show priorities and supply/demand.

Time to explore the lakeside, the walk is really nice and, with the weather being warm and fine, there are lots of people out and about. We even see a deer in the middle of some office buildings, just eating, hanging out, and not phased by people and vehicles passing by. Jason gets very excited.

I do the weird dog lady stalker thing asking strangers if I can pat their dogs. 0 staffies and 1 million golden retrievers are seen.

Constantly the smell of devil’s lettuce hangs in the air, it is quite funny, not because I am high, I think? Coming from an environment where this is hidden and people try to pocket the smokes, to see a couple of young guys with a massive bong made out of a 2 litre coke bottle, just sitting on the back of a Ute tray is quite surreal. Ah well, each to their own and if you’re in the mood you could stick around and get a secondary high at no cost. Travellers tip right there – you’re welcome!

 The lake is so beautiful we really wanted to do a lake cruise, hopefully a sunset one, but we are now out of the busy season so it’s really tough to find operators still running later in the day. We did stumble across a guy who rented out boats, and you can book them for an hour or two and he will captain it for you.

Very nice young man, how fucking old do I sound, he owns Ogopogo E-Boats and I would highly recommend if you find yourself in Kelowna with time to spare (Ogopogo E-Boat | Okanagan Lake Adventures The Way Nature Intended (ogopogoeboat.com)) there are lots of options. I did not get his name, so he is now referred to as Captain Dan.

Captain Dan ferried us around the lake, and we had a fabulous time, he was super knowledgeable and talked us through the devastating fires that hit the region of Okanagan last year. You could still see the burnt remains of houses and forestry. How terrifying, a state of emergency was declared in Kelowna and West Kelowna, with thousands of residents forced to evacuate. The fires resulted in the destruction of up to 200 buildings and caused over $720 million in insured damages.

This year they were spared, and it was Jasper’s turn. Ironically this meant a boom for Kelowna as many people who would normally be in Jasper came to Kelowna instead, including us. Circle of life?

We disembark and head to the local rib place in Kelowna for an amazing feed before hitting the sack and one of us passes out within minutes of lying down. No prizes for guessing who.

17^th September 2024 – Kelowna Continues

Not a great night’s sleep as Jason was practicing his throat singing again. At least I could give him a wallop now as we are downgraded to share a bed in this hotel. It does not help that he is sick so that ramps up the volume.

However, the day is stunning and sick or not, we are going to do things. We decided our first thing would be to hike up Knox Mountain – Knox your Socks off so they say.

The first 2kms are pretty easy as its along the water to the bottom of the mountain then the climb begins, and it is tough. It is warm and I have lost so much strength and stamina since the injury. I was never great at inclines, but I wasn’t this fucking bad. So that puts me in a delightful mood. Luckily, I kept my grumps and moans to myself – I know, that’s a shock. But I mentioned to Jason what a shitbag I was, and he said he didn’t notice. Either I was an angel or his hearing has gone. No further commentary required.

The walk is 10km in total, including the walk from our hotel to the start of the hike, 875 ft elevation, the views are spectacular, and we spot a dear. BUT no squirrels or bears. Damn it, where are the bears. We make it back to the hotel in time for breakfast and found out the hotel has a washing machine and dryer you can use. LEGEND.

We do some domestic duties before heading out to discover the wider lake area. I really wanted to drive around the lake but Jason, who is a lot more sensible than I am, pointed out that the lake is 120km long… so, it will take a while to drive around it. Oh yeah. Good point.

Instead, we do a bit of a scenic tour trying not to run over any cyclists, generally frowned upon here, and decide to find a winery for lunch. We pick Quail’s Gate (Homepage – Quails’ Gate Estate Winery (quailsgate.com)) and it is stunning. Again, if you are in Kelowna and have time and a thirst, make sure you visit. The wine is good, the food is tasty, and the views are spectacular. Of course, with good food, wine, and views comes a hefty bill, so be prepared.

Don’t forget you will also have your mathematical gymnastics to do once you add national and local taxes, then the tip, I have started to ignore the exchange rate, its just too hard. FFS.

Jason has decided he feels brave enough to drive so I get to sample the wine. He is such a good man. We had delicious food and I had two sample “flights” of wine, one white and one red.

The server heads over to the table and as she was taking one glass off her tray, she accidentally knocks one of the red wine glasses and it goes flying, hits the table and red wine goes everywhere. I mean EVERYWHERE. No one is spared the splatter, the server is mortified and I, I am not the person at the table, it actually is not happening to me, I am not sure if the universe skipped a beat, went a little off kilter, but FOR ONCE this shit is happening to someone else. And that feels good (glances around to see if karma is going to bite me for enjoying the moment).

I did feel terrible for the server and the guests who had chosen this particular day to wear lovely white linen shirts. Damn it.

We continued to enjoy our food and drinks and bask in the fact that I was not covered in wine. JOY.

Filled with wine and food we head back to the hotel. Jason does very well, it will be the last time he drives here in Canada, just not his thing.

Jason has a nap, and I go for a walk. I don’t tend to dress up when I am travelling, and often just wear workout shirts, a running skirt, an old floppy sun hat, I was also wearing my old hiking shoes, this possibly explains why the homeless may have thought I was one of theirs. I had a lot of offers to join them for a toke. Hmmm, possibly time to rethink my wardrobe, except I am too lazy, and my clothes are just too comfortable to change. Ah well, it could be worse.

After such a big day we opt to stay in and just have snacks for dinner. Finishing off our amazing loaf of sour dough, gold dust cheese, and some fresh tomatoes, not bad, not bad at all.

I love it when our days have been so full of adventures and fun that we do not have the energy to get out in the evening. A day well spent.

18^th September 2024 – Goodbye Kelowna

I will not miss your flaws, but I will miss your stunning scenery.

We get up early to test the promise from our local gym, Anytime Fitness, it is a 24×7, worldwide fitness centre.

If you see one of their gyms, anywhere in the world, you can use your fob you get in. Well, I’ll be damned, it worked. So, we had a quick workout in the gym (feeling very pious for when it is wine o’clock – always) before heading back for breakfast.

Today we drive to Revelstoke, by we, I mean I drive, and Jason tries to distract me by saying “wow, look at that” or “that’s incredible, look darling” whilst I am zipping along at 140kmh. This is probably a good time to point out why I don’t get grumpy about all the driving… the man cannot help himself; he HAS to look at the scenery and it scares the shit out of me.

Today is 211km, or 2 hours and 40 minutes. There are a lot of road works going on but we make it.

More to come.