The Killalea-Walford Travel Blog

24^th Launceston to Cradle Mountain

I woke up early, and left the man to sleep whilst I explored more of Launceston. It was quite brisk, around 7 degrees, but the sky was clear blue and perfect for a morning stroll. Launceston really is a pretty place, I walked along the waterfront, cutting through the city, exploring the cute little buildings. On the way back, picking up a hot coffee for the boy. Unfortunately the scallop pies were not ready so he missed out.

Never mind we will get breakfast at the markets in Evandale.

Today we planned to visit a lot of little towns. Evandale, Deloraine, Devonport, Sheffield, drive past Mount Roland, and finally land at Cradle Mountain. The whole drive taking 3 hours, not including stop offs of course, so it really is not that much driving (says she who is not doing any of the driving).

Freshly showered and filled with coffee we bundle everything into the car and head off to our next adventure. Starting with the markets in Evandale.

The markets turned out to be more like arts and crafts not the selection of food trucks that we see at our local markets. They did have loads of condiments, some fruits, and even wine tasting – now that’s a breakfast I can support. Instead, after a bit of a frown from Jason, we skipped the wine tasting, bought some berries and left in search of breakfast.

Jason found a nice little pub doing hot breakfasts, it really was his kind of place with lots of stuffed animals on the wall, an open fireplace, and a big breakfast on the menu. Sold! The food was pretty good and Jason’s best coffee so far.

Back on the road next stop Deloraine. A cute little town, where we did the river walk trying to see wild platypus. The guide at the visitor’s centre told us they had been sighted in the local stream, I am pretty sure they say that to everyone to try and get people out of their vehicles and onto the main street. It worked, but all we saw were geese – a pretty poor substitute 😀

Back in the car and onto Devonport. Just like Devonport in Auckland it is near the water – that is where the similarity ends. It is more like the Gold Coast, bogans, bogans everywhere. Pretty view from the lighthouse though.

We were on the downward/upward stretch now, leaving Devonport to stop off at Sheffield for supplies, a scenic drive around Mount Rowland and then onto Cradle Mountain. I cannot wait, I have been told that Cradle Mountain is amazing and THERE ARE WOMBATS!

We arrived in the afternoon, check into our accommodation at the Wilderness Village, dump all our gear and head off looking for wombats – I may be a little obsessed. But they look so cute!

Gathering all our information from the Visitor Centre, map in hand it is time to go wombat hunting.

We did the Enchanted walk, which was very enchanting, but did not offer up any wombats. On to the King Billy walk – surely named after a giant wombat called Billy? Actually, no, after a 30 minute hike we get to a giant pine tree. Yup, King Billy is a type of pine named after King William. Sigh. There were a couple of women as perplexed as us “so this is it”, “yup”, “ok then”.

Back down we go, this time to do the rainforest walk. 5 minutes into it Jason stops and points! Across the river is A WOMBAT 😊 happy days. It is late in the afternoon now, getting cold, our feet are sore, but all that is forgotten, there is a WOMBAT and I must get closer. We run/walk across the bridge to the Knyvet Falls walk, and there they are. Two plump, fluffy wombats. Just hanging out and eating – turns out that’s pretty much all they do.

THEY ARE SO FLUFFY.

I JUST WANT TO SQUEEEEEEEEEZE THEM.

We stand there captivated with them, No one else seems that interested. BUT THEY ARE WOMBATS – WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE? Eventually we continue on to see the Knyvet Falls where we run into the two ladies from the King Billy walk “don’t worry, falls is not a euphemism, there are actual waterfalls” that made me laugh, and there are waterfalls, and they are beautiful, but back to the wombats who are still there, eating.

Feeling content, with the sun setting, the temperature plummeting we had to our accommodation. Tomorrow, we hike!

WE SAW WOMBATS.

But no scallop pie.

25^th Cradle Mountain – The Only Way is UP

Today is going to be a rough day. We have decided to hike past Crater Lake, up to Marion’s look out, and then down past Wombat Pool, and around Dove Lake. The estimate for this is 5 hours so we have a nice breakfast, pack our lunch and snacks and get on the first bus. 815am start, 8 degrees, but a beautiful blue sky. The weather is on our side.

As we prepared to leave the accommodation a very large kurrawong landed on our little deck. Followed by another very large kurrawong, I opened the door and they did not move, these guys have done this before. We had some ham rind left from making our lunch, so I cut it up and hand fed them. DON’T FEED THE BIRDS JO. But they were very gentle, and persistent, even when I was ignoring them, they stayed looking in the window, the occasional tap on the glass with their beaks even though we had run out of ham 😊 they are beautiful birds and quite terrifying in their size.

My toes are frozen as we sit on the bus winding our way up to Ronny Creek, our stating point. As always I am dressed appropriately. Running skirt, hiking shoes, warm top, and hat. BUT MY TOES!

The driver has the air con on very cold to keep the windows clear. I get that he needs to see, but I also need all my digits to be intact!

About 12 of us get off at this spot as most people opt to go to Dove Lake and do the loop without the massive uphill hike 😀 wise people indeed.

I am still sick and breathing is a bit difficult with a massive amount of snot exiting my body, caring is sharing people. But this hike is beautiful so I suck it up, or blow it out, and keep on going. The views are spectacular and keep me distracted, also taking photos gives me an excuse to stop and get my breath back 😊

We make it to Crater Lake  (which despite the name is not in a crater, but rather carved by glaciers)  and it is stunning, the water is millpond still and the reflections are immaculate. We take photos and chat to other hikers before heading to the next milestone, Marion’s Lookout.

So, Marion’s Lookout. Lets do a little rundown of what that looks like! From the website “Marions Lookout is over 1200m and weather at Cradle Mountain varies quickly. Always be prepared with warm clothes and wet weather gear. Snow may fall at any time of year.” That is right ladies and gentlemen, 1200m UP!

The final ascent to Marions Lookout, a metal chain is provided to assist with the steepest part of the climb but should not cause any trouble for experienced bushwalkers. WTF PEOPLE! If you need a chain to get up and down, it is trouble, end of story!

I wont lie, this was not an easy hike, it was up, up, and then up a little more. But we did it, and in less than 90 minutes we are at the top, enjoying the view. What a fucking view!

We sit, admire, refuel and plan our next part of our hike which is downhill, thank god. Though, to be honest, that is normally a tough time for ankles and knees as you get lazy and complacent and don’t watch where you step. You know, just me in general and my clumsiness.

Turns out I was more sure footed than I thought, we make it down to Wombat Pool (which contained no wombats – false advertising – I had visions of Wombats floating around maybe on inflatables, cocktails in hand/paw!), Lake Lilla, and onto Dove Lake Circuit.

This is the last part of our hike today, the Dove Lake Circuit. We have no idea how far this hike is, because they do not give you any hint about the distance, they just give you estimates of how long it will take. Based on WHAT! A marathon runner? A three legged dog? Tell me people, because the timings are all sorts of fucked up.

Anyhoo! Compared to Marions Lookout, Dove Lake Circuit is very gentle, a few undulating areas but a nice warm down.

We wrap this all up by 100pm, 12.88km, 538m elevation, 3 hours and 10 minutes. Not a bad walk.

We have earned a lovely soak in a spa though 😊 which I had booked for this afternoon. How is that for good planning 😊 if I do say so myself.

We stop off at the Tasmanian Devil Sanctuary in Cradle Mountain. I have never seen one before and really want to catch a peek at these little creatures. They are so funny, they are the size of a small dog. They have stocky and muscular build (much like a staffy), black fur, pungent odour (also very much like a staffy), and they have an extremely loud and disturbing screech (hmm, also like a staffy), keen sense of smell, and ferocity when feeding (wow, they are marsupial staffies).

When they fight, which is not an uncommon occurrence we noticed, they make the most horrific noise! No wonder settlers thought there were devils in the woods. I am sure this is what our neighbours hear when our girls are playing in the backyard 😀

We turned up just in time for a tour and saw devils and quolls, there was a wombat called Pancake but she was not up for visitors and put herself into her home.

After our visit to the devils we head to Waldheim Alpine Spa, it is lovely, an outdoor hot pool overlooking the stream and surrounding rain forest. There is also a sauna and a cold plunge pool. I jumped in the cold pool a couple of times, that was invigorating (read fucking freezing) but followed by the hot pool it was actually really nice. We sat, drank a beverage, watched the world and soaked for an hour.

What a perfect way to finish the day and our last night in Cradle Mountain. Tomorrow we head to Coles Bay, the far side of Tasmania and our longest drive yet. So tonight we relax on the couch and enjoy the peaceful surroundings.

Still no scallop pie.

22^nd April – Off we GOOOOOOOOOO (kind of)

Like many of our trips lately this has been a long time planning. With a few false starts. We were meant to come here Christmas 2020, then again mid 2021. But finally everything was locked and loaded for April-May 2022. Wahoo.

And thanks to the wonderful Kimmy De Chevas we had an amazing itinerary worked out. We only had two weeks and needed to be very precise about our options and what were the MUST Dos.

This timeframe worked well because our good friends Krys and David were heading to Tassie for Krys’s birthday. We could not pass up the opportunity to travel and celebrate with them as it is always such good fun!

Departure day finally arrived and we were packed and ready to go. Our flight was not until 1050 so plenty of time to walk the dogs, get some work doe, tidy the house for the house sitter, and then make it to the airport. Or so I thought.

We were in the Uber only 20 minutes from the airport when I opened the Virgin Australia app to check something. And the flight time jumped off the screen and smacked me in the face. I had the time wrong by about an hour. FUCK! Even if the uber driver could be bribed to break the sound barrier and even if there were not queues at the airport, and even if the check in and bag drop went seamlessly (all of which are impossible at the best of times) we would need a teleporter to get us there on time.

And I was fresh out of teleporters. I broke the news to Jason who took if very well. Optimistically thinking e could still make it. I had to get o the phone to VA and see what I could salvage out od this mess.

Miracle 1, there was no waiting time, the call was answered almost immediately!

Miracle 2 the woman on the end of the phone was super efficient and helpful.

Miracle 3 they changed our flights tp the later the same day AT NO COST.

The trip was saved, all we had to do was update our location on the Uber to return home. Where I worked for a few more hours, sheepishly tucked away in the office. Feeling like a right twit.

That afternoon a new uber driver picked us up, with 3 hours until our flight time. Wouldn’t you know it our flight this time was delayed, but no complaining from me, at least we had a flight and at least we were going to make it.

The flight was under three hours and we landed just before 700pm on Friday night, 6 hours after we were originally meant to be here. Sigh.

My favourite airport has to Changi in Singapore, but Hobart Airport is not to be sneezed at.  They sell cheese at the airport, not those silly little cheese and cracker snacks, but Coal Farm Cheese, one of my favourites. So whilst Jason watched the carousel go round and round I stockpiled cheese. I like it when destiny throws me a bone or a few chunks of cheese 😊

A short time after our bags arrived, we picked up our rental car and hit the road, Launceston bound. Now, this was another flaw in my planning. I bought the flights and booked the rental car very early, well before I knew our plans – because of the previous rental car scarcity. Flying into Hobart meant a 2.5 hour drive to get to our accommodation. A real pain in the arse!

The initial road, Hobart to Highway 1 was a bit dodgy, with a lot of furry creatures “sleeping” on the side of the road. We had to be super vigilant to avoid any unnecessary and unexpected hood ornaments.

We finally make it to Launceston at 1030, and we need dinner. God help me, McDonalds was open, and we were hungry. That is all we shall say about that.

Our accommodation is an AirBnB in the centre of town with a dodgy front door lock. You literally have to be some sort of locksmith/cat burglar to get in. After 10 minutes of swearing and “jiggling” we were in. And into bed. What a fucking day! Thanks again to Virgin Australia for saving our holiday. Good night Launceston, see you in the morning.

23 April Discover Launceston

Needless to say we slept well and there were no nightmares of missed flights or pointless uber rides.

It’s a beautiful morning and at 800am the temperature is a balmy 7 degrees, Jason is less than impressed. Also, there is no milk in the apartment, he needs coffee STAT. We layer up and head out to find a coffee, our accommodation is so central everything is very close by. We get our bearings, and get the man a much needed mocha.

We are catching up with the lovely Angela Hanna for breakfast, a Kiwi living somewhere other than NZ, tis not an uncommon thing 😊 we are meeting at cataract gorge, I had assumed that it would be a good drive out of town but turns out it is super close so we decide to walk there.

And what a beautiful walk it was, but before I go into detail, the town of Launceston itself is beautiful. Filled with lots of very cute old buildings and stunning churches, Launceston was settled in 1806, unlike many cities and states a lot of the original buildings are still standing which adds to the character. My favourite building has to be Penny Royal and the windmill. Serving no purpose now but looks amazing.

After cutting through town, we made our way to the zig zag track, warning warning will be steep and cause heavy breathing!! Not in that Channing Tatum stripper type way, but rather in that omg I cannot breathe this is so damn steep kind of way. Luckily it is not a long way to the top, where you are met with stunning views and made it to breakfast! AT least we earned the HUGE and delicious breakfast we devoured.

The cataract gorge includes a beautiful zigzag track up the south side, reaching The First Basin which also features a swimming pool (not heated I might add – wtf). A chairlift, two cafés, a funicular railway and a lovely open area surrounded by bushland. The basin itself has created many of myths about its depth: some locals say it is a bottomless pit; a volcanic plug; or that a submarine sent in to find its bottom during the 1960s ran out cable before accomplishing this feat. Wow, there have been some recreational drug taking I think?!? In fact, the basin was formed by erosion at the intersection of two faults – the Basin Road Fault and an un-named fault approximately at right angles which the South Esk is following. Where the two faults meet, the Dolerite rock is badly shattered and hence more easily eroded, giving rise to the formation of the basin. It looks cool ok?

SO the chairlift! OMG as soon as I saw it, I had to go on it. Such a giant kid at times. And I was not disappointed, the views were lovely the churning stomach when you looked down was priceless. It is a beautiful clear day so perfect for this sort of adventure. It only lasts about 10 minutes and we are back on solid ground.

The chairlift is the longest single-span chairlift in the world, apparently, with the longest span being 308m. Who would have thought!  The chairlift, built in 1972, has a total span of 457m. Most importantly, it was super cool and I HIGHLY recommend.

We walked the rest of the gorge and headed back to town.

Launceston has a market every Saturday morning and apparently, they have local beer there. It really is Jason’s kind of market.

It was quite cool, a lot of local produce, gin, and beer. Don’t forget the beer, and we didn’t. With 3 tallies of Seven Sheds in hand we head back to our apartment. We have sightseeing to do! Wine tasting featuring high on the list 😊

Full disclosure, its at this point I am fully engulfed in a head cold. I feel terrible and the amount of snot exiting my body is disgusting. BUT, wine will make it all better.

We pop the beer in the fridge for later, pack up the car and hit the road. BTW the car, a 2022 Toyota Corolla Hybrid, bloody lovely. 4.3 litres per 100km. Considering the cost of the rental car at least the cost to run it will be less painful.

We are heading to the Tamar Valley, the home of many vineyards – oh the hardship. The weather is perfect and I am in need of medicinal grapes.

The map we are using is more pretty than functional directions. We type Grindelwald into the phone and start following directions. We found the area of Grindelwald but no vineyards, hmmm, fail.

After a couple more unnecessary scenic circles we opt for a different map and we make our way to Marion’s Vineyard. This place has a stunning view, some nice wines, and a very chatty cellar door salesman. I knocked off a great tasting, purchased a bottle, support local and all that.

I know you will find this hard to believe but I really was not into tasting much wine this day. I really wanted a nap and may, or may not, have been in a bit of a grump. So instead of going to more vineyards we went for a little tour. As we headed home, Jason saw more vineyards and being the wonderful husband that he is, we found one I liked. Pipers Brook winery and decided it was worth a try. The tasting was lovely, they had a resident dog who was very keen on pats, wine and dog! Heaven.

Obviously I continued support the economy by way of wine purchase and it was time to head back. Jason, god bless him, was doing all the driving as I was a bit miserable.

Back by late afternoon, in time to have a couple of relaxing drinks and of to dinner at Rupert and Hound, highly recommend, if you are in Launceston, give it a try. The food and service were fantastic.

Tomorrow we head to Cradle Mountain. YAY. So early night required.

And Jason is hankering for a scallop pie.

Last Night in the Turtle

We get back to Cooinda for a relax before our sunset cruise with the people eaters, our last night on the road, and our last sleep in the turtle.

When we arrive back at Cooinda we head to our new site, it is much nicer, lots of trees, and close to the toilet for this old lady. With Keem parked up and the turtle prepared its hot, damn hot, and we head for a swim. Little did we know that there are two pools in this metropolis so we seek out the second pool, and find that we are not the youngest in the resort after all.

It appears that the grey nomads separate themselves from the others, and there are families and young couples galore.

It is, brisk, refreshing, invigorating. Also known as bloody cold, it is warmer than Lake Argyle though. NOTE: Lake Argyle will be the measuring stick for cold swimming experiences forever more.

A shower, change, cold wine/beer, and we head to the meeting point for our cruise.

The Yellow Water Cruise was recommended to us by one of the grey nomads that we met in the Bungle Bungles Camp Ground.

According to the website (http://www.kakadutourism.com/tours-activities/yellow-water-cruises/yellow-water-cruise/)

“A Yellow Water cruise is a ‘must do’ experience when visiting Kakadu. This beautiful billabong is home to remarkable scenery and wildlife, Yellow Water Cruises will provide you with an intimate adventure tour that you will never forget.

A spectacular journey through Kakadu’s wetlands.

Yellow Water Billabong is at the heart of Kakadu offering a remarkable journey through the region’s wetlands, with its rich wildlife, dramatic scenery and ever-changing landscape.”

What they didn’t mention was the onboard entertainment in the form of two brothers, whose family are the caretakers of the land. Rueben was our skipper, historian, guide, and entertainer.

If you don’t go for any other reason you should go to hear him speak. And he does not stop the entire time. You learn the history of the land, their family, details on the wildlife, and the billabong itself.

We saw more creatures here than we did anywhere else on our journey, it was nonstop, crocodiles (salties – the bitey ones), Jesus Birds (look them up, they are so cool), sea eagles, buffalos, jabiru bird, ducks, and many more.

I also learnt why birds are so comfy around crocodiles! Apparently feathers are impossible to digest, and the crocodiles have figured this out. Plus there is loads of other food in the billabong, fish, baby buffalos, baby kangaroos and wallabies, and, of course, tourists trying to get that ultimate shot.

We learnt that crocodiles have terrible eyesight, they “cannot see shit”. This was witnessed firsthand when one of the salties sitting on the side of the billabong attacked a log! Even crocodiles see logadiles! I may have been imagining it, but I am sure the crocodile looked embarrassed.

We saw an amazing sunset, and were entertained all the way back to the resort. As we were disembarking Rueben says to Jason “bloody hell, your massive, what are you!, a fireman”. Hilarious.

Still laughing we were back at our camp site for our last camp cooked dinner. And this night we outdid ourselves. Jason cooked the pork chops and I made camp cooker apple sauce, fresh apples, limes, sugar, and it was pure magic. As we sat and ate our dinner, lamenting the fact our road trip was nearly over, dingoes wandered past in the shadows. How bloody cool is that.

Tomorrow we head to Darwin. Keem has a massive chip in the windscreen and we need to get that fixed. It is also today that I found out, despite paying a ton of extra insurance we are not covered for glass, tyres, or Keem’s undercarriage. Completely my fault, should have read that more carefully.

Oh well, how much could it possibly cost

We settle down for the night, good night world.

12^th June – Darwin, why go there?

304kms

This morning we actually have a dew on the ground and on the tent. Probably the coldest morning yet. Jason makes our final breakfast of salmon and poached eggs, I am in charge of the toast (that has been my job).

Everything is packed up and we are on the road by 830am. Ahead of the usual grey nomad exodus, which normally exit at the 1000am checkout time.

We are sad to be finishing our road trip but excited to be staying in a hotel with a proper bed, inside toilet, a restaurant, and rooftop bar. Yep we have gotten soft people, real soft.

The road to Darwin, is long, and flat – yep, we are shocked. But the road is a lot busier and the waves, well they dry up. Only the occasional response to our wave, and we tried all variations, just in case it was a local thing. Nothing.

As we leave there are dingoes on the side of road, maybe a farewell of sorts.

It as easy to tell when we were close to Darwin, god damn traffic lights. Lots and lots of traffic lights. This is not an exaggeration. It’s almost like they had accidentally ordered too many lights and decided to use them all anyway.

We arrive at our hotel Ramada Suites by Wyndham Zen Quarter (good grief, can you make the name any longer people!!!) around 1130 and hope we can drop our luggage off, so we can give Keem a clean, and hand her back. Even better, they had a room, we checked in early, and we were able to unpack all our stuff. We hadn’t been shopping so how the hell did we end up with so much STUFF.

Next stop, the window screen place! Eventually the chap comes outside, its 34 degrees and no breeze, waiting outside is not pleasant! Does an assessment, it cannot be fixed, must be replaced. No shit Sherlock, we already told you that, so he went to quote it up for us.

$1,440 dollars. WTF I ask? Yep, they have to be calibrated and stuff, so that is what it costs. And that is the best price. By this stage Jason is ropeable. Could not believe our insurance did not cover glass, and the price, well yes, the wind screen was costing us a return trip to Europe. Joy. Not only that, but if we did not get it fixed before returning it the rental company would charge us an admin fee!

Deep breath! Find your zen. Deep breath. Find your zen. Grumble FARK, bastards, there were many expletives, but I won’t write them out here, mother would not be impressed.

Jason calls back Australian 4WD, they have a $1500 bond and he tells them to keep it, they can scrap over the admin fee. They must be a little taken aback at his grumpiness as they say they will do their best to get a cheaper deal, and refund the balance – YEAH RIGHT.

Now we need to clean Keem, you must have her clean and tidy before returning her. Its in the contract, and they will charge a cleaning fee of $80 an hour if you don’t (F*CK that – what kind of cleaner gets $80 an hour!).

We find a self-clean thing, and have her sparkly and new within 15 minutes. These things are amazing! I much prefer someone else cleaning my car though – as amazing as it is, going shopping and coming back to beautifully valeted car is even better (yes, I am soft and lazy).

Finally, we drop off Keem, and bid our farewells.

Time for a drink, its bloody hot and we need to swim and relax and eat and drink.

Thus ends our time on the road. We miss Keem but not her drinking habit.

Kilometers: 2,900

Highways travelled: 4 (Great Northern, Victoria, Arnhem, Stuart)

Diesel Purchased: $700

Naked Germans: 1 (that is more than enough)

Waves Perfected: 5

Animals run over: 1 (it was dead before I got there)

Fun had: Exponential

Animals spotted: too many to count

 

 

 

Number of kms and petrol

Number of motorways

 

 

256kms, blue skies

The temperature is sitting stubbornly around 30 degrees, and we are quite thrilled about this. The entire journey we were hoping for warm days, and now they have really arrived.

We had to do a quick pit stop at Katherine, as Jason’s Red Band jandals has been set free in the wild of Katherine Gorge, oops. Whilst carrying his canoe they fell out and we did not realise until we were back at the boat.

Since we left Katherine in the afternoon we were late getting into Kakadu. We had hoped to stop at one of the waterholes for a swim, but time did not allow it. Instead we stopped to do a quick hike up to a lookout. By this time is 34 degrees.

The lookout is right next to the South Alligator River (weird naming as there are no alligators in Australia, other than in zoos etc). In the wet season this river is wild and filled with salt water crocodiles. The signs warn you to be aware and don’t swim in the river.

We make our way down there and find the river is gone, it is a dry, sandy riverbed and no crocodiles to be seen. Even so we are both on high alert, we’ve all seen that movie plot, there’s nothing to be afraid of, come on loosen up, it’s just some fun, CHOMP, dead!!!!

Onwards to the lookout. Despite much of the area being green and lush this particular section looks like it has been bombed. Trees are half burnt, there is no grass or under brush, it is just dry, and hot, and barren, except for this random flower, see photos below, that seem to grow regardless.

We make it to the top in record time, and the view is worth it. We can see where the river is still flowing, with green all around it, then slightly further you can see the smoke from yet another fire.

TANGENT: I am not sure if the fires are purposeful i.e. to reduce the risk of real bushfires, but we had started to see fires still smoldering on the side of the road, and plumes of smoke in the distance. A little disturbing to drive through it like it’s nothing. But no one seemed to be panicking.

We complete the full trek, drink a load of water, and head back to Keem. Boost the air conditioner and continue the journey arriving at Cooinda Lodge just after 400pm. Plenty of time to get set up and settled before sundown.

The lodge has everything you need including petrol pumps, a small store, restaurant, bar, two swimming pools on top of all the usual camping amenities. We are very pleased with our choice.

The only down side, with river comes mosquitos!

I knew there was a reason I packed all that bug spray, and now was the moment to shine. We spray every exposed inch of skin and settle in for the night. The bats are lifting for the night; you can hear the birdlife going bonkers. And, in the distance, the sound of dingoes. Bloody awesome.

We climb into the turtle and sleep.

Kakadu – 11^th June

Well that was a bloody loud night! Turns out the dingoes are not so much in the distance but in the camp, and they love to bark. Bark bark, bark bark, bark bark, bark bark. Jason believes it’s their way of communicating. I believe it’s their way of keeping me awake all night.

I had packed my ear plugs, so out they came and successfully blocked them out. During my usual midnight sojourn to the toilet I heard what sounded like a dog drinking out of a bowl of water. Jason reminded me that we are in a national park, no dogs allowed. I guess dingoes get thirsty too.

I wasn’t afraid, more interested to see what one looked like up close (not too close). Like at nodding distance, not patting distance. But last night they were heard but not seen.

We have a full day in Kakadu, this is our only location where we are here for two nights. A quick visit to reception we are equipped with information on a 12km hike we can do. I queried as to the difficulty of the hike, “really easy, mostly flat with a few rocks to climb over”. Sweeeeet, we should nail that in about three hours.

On our drive out to the hike we pass a living, breathing, beautiful dingo on the side of the road. She had come out to the clearing and watched us before nipping back into the bush. Awesome! I also saw a very long snake, but that was dead and on the road, so not as awesome.

It is 1030 when we arrive at the hike and it is 27 degrees already. We have loads of water, bug spray, sun screen, and snacks! We are ready.

The first part is actually really easy, and then we find the actual walk, the Baark track (not dingo related). The warning at the beginning of this track makes my heart sink.

• 12km
• 6-8 hours
• High level of fitness
• Chance of rock falls

This does not sound like the same track that was explained to me. But, off we go.

Off, and up, and up, and over, and through. You are climbing up the side of the hill, you are climbing over boulders, and you are climbing through bush.

NOW, this is an excellent workout for your legs. Because you do not want to use your arms to pull yourself up. Why? Because a lot of shit here bites you people! Even the plants have nasty spikey bits to get you, if the snakes and crocodiles don’t get you first. So you spend the entire time not touching anything just in case the tree you grabbed is actually a snake, or the rock you hold onto houses a bunch of spiders.

Why do it then Jo? Because it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Plus, my lovely husband loves to climb stuff. He is part mountain goat or something. But climbing things brings him joy. So I shut up and harden up, and we climb. We get quite high and the view is amazing.

We reach the highest point and then continue on, we are now on a plateau walking through long grass, over tree stumps, and around rocks. It’s at this point, 50 minutes in, I pull the pin. This is not fun. I am not enjoying it, I want to go back (I know right, Jo got all sensible and stuff). The temperature is now over 30 degrees.

Just to be sure we walk a little further, but the track does not get any better, and at this rate we will not make it back in time for our sunset cruise amongst the crocodiles. So we turn around and head back the way we came. At this time, we find another couple just behind us who have come to the same conclusion.

We sit, snack, and rehydrate before heading back down the track. With a pit stop to visit a snake we found earlier. He had moved on by now (shame).

Down again, we head to the car. All in all, around 2.5 hours and probably only a quarter of the track. We need a seat, we need water, we need air conditioning.

Next stop, billabong, not the store, the thing. Jason has always wanted to see a billabong in the flesh/or in the water? There is one not so far from where we are now. Down the road we head, and after about 1km we find the billabong. It’s beautiful, peaceful, lots of lily leaves and flowers, huge amount of bird life. Maybe there is a walk we can do around this instead.

Out we get ready to explore. But no, apparently buffalo have been spotted in the area, and like everything else around here, it will kill you. They don’t like being disturbed. Plus, there are crocodiles in these waters too, so don’t go to close to the edge. The walking track is closed due to seasonal changes WTF does that mean? It’s closed because some danger, sharp toothed, short tempered creatures wanna eat you!

I take photos, and I do wonder, why are all these ducks and other birds looking so chilled and relaxed on the water, surely they are crocodile snacks too?

More on that later.

There are so many beautiful walking opportunities around Kakado park I wish we had more time to explore them, but not today.

Back to Keem, we are less than 30kms from Jabiru and feel we should go and check it out. Being this close it would be a shame not to. It takes no time at all to get there, and no time at all to realise there is no reason to stay. Jabiru, it appears, is a great place to get to other places.

Time to head back to Cooinda for a swim, a rest, and a beverage before our cruise.

Leaving the disturbing imagery of naked German hikers behind us, we head to Katherine. This is less than 200kms from Victoria River Roadhouse and at 130km an hour, not a long journey.

The road is, long, flat, and mostly straight. The occasional corner is thrown in there for diversity.

You won’t believe this but the sky is blue, and we have no clouds.

The wave game continues; though the participation levels definitely fluctuate when you get closer to the populated areas. For example, heading into Kununurra and Katherine, the number of drivers returning the friendly greeting diminishes. Sad really.

Animals are not much different, the occasional native (wallaby and kangaroo) but mostly cows. I guess this also relates to being more populated, the land is farmed.

What is noticeable is the increase in greenery. The real move from a land that looks like it is struggling to green trees that seem healthy and almost thriving. The rivers and creeks have water in them, previously they were rock beds and puddles at most.

We arrive into Katherine at around 1100am. We head to the Visitor Information Centre. Parking our faithful steed amongst all the other Toyota Prado and 4×4 vehicles. The visitor centre is great. Young Chloe behind the desk is both helpful and informative.

We purchase our park passes for Kakadu (didn’t realise we needed them), two spots for the canoe tour up the Katherine Gorge, and two seats on the Yellow Water Sunset cruise in Kakadu. Totaling over $400. No one said this trip was going to be cheap! But Chloe was amazing and we left the Visitor Information Centre feeling fully informed and centered.

Next stop is to find our accommodation. It is 30 degrees and we have air conditioning on our mind. I requested an early check in as part of our booking, so we were hopeful and are looking forward to a night off from setting up the turtle and doing everything by torch light. Unfortunately, the reception at Pine Tree Motel is closed until 200pm, the cleaners who are buzzing from room to room are studiously ignoring us.

We decide to find a place for lunch, another novelty eating out! And we settle on a sports club down the road. The beer was cold, the food was edible, the air conditioning was pumping, and we were feeling happier. Still only 130pm.

Stock up time. We needed a few alcoholic beverages to see us through the remainder of our trip. So we head to the local, BUT here the liquor laws are different again.

1. You can only buy alcohol between 2-8pm
2. There is no restriction on how much, but you must show your ID

Of course it is not 200pm yet. Supermarket fills in the time, and back we go.

The liquor store has Police stationed at the entry. You have to show them your ID before entering. Jason strikes up a conversation with a lovely, and very attractive, police officer. The store must have a police presence whilst it is open.

Jason shows his Police ID, just for kicks, and they have a bit of a chat. She asks where we are staying and the chat continues. We buy our supplies and then return to Keem.

Now we can finally check in to our motel.

So, this accommodation was rated fairly well, the reviews were ok. It was around 125$ per night. So we expected a pretty reasonable motel. Pulling into the parking lot we were less than impressed.

Firstly, the name, and you have to chuckle. There is one pine tree out the front of the motel. It is looking worse for wear, and could probably do with being cut down for firewood. There are around 6 palm trees which are in much better condition, but as there was already a Palm Tree Motel, Palm Court Motel, and likely other variations, I guess they decided that the pine tree would be their point of difference.

The photos on the web site showed their pool, surrounded by the palm trees. It did not show the façade of the motel, which looked dingy at best. Oh well, it has a bed, and electricity and a toilet I don’t have to hike to in the middle of the night. Luxury.

The chap at reception was very pleasant and we got to talking. We mentioned our interest at the local liquor laws.

And apparently we should NOT have been sold any alcohol. The lovely police officer was not enquiring to our accommodation out of politeness, but because 4 out of 5 motels are licensed. And because they are licensed you are not allowed to take your own alcohol onto the premises. Our lovely police officer should have told us we were not allowed to purchase anything and sent us on our way.

Thank god I am married to a tall, handsome, cop. Winning.

So why have this rule? Apparently it was deemed easier to limit where you could take alcohol rather than limit what you can buy…

We make it into our room. Brick walls, painted white, one double and two single beds, TV, fridge, and the beloved ensuite. The net curtains don’t quite cover the windows, and could do with a good wash, everything looks dated, but we are very happy to be there.

After the usual drudgery of unpack, repack, and clean of the portable fridge, it was swim time.

The pool was freezing and not overly clean. So one dip each was sufficient. Sit in the sun to defrost, and decide on dinner plans. I had seen an advert for Marksie’s Stockman’s Camp Tucker.

The website described it as a wonderful marriage of white and Indigenous cultures, through our delicious food, flavoured from native bush. Send your taste buds on a wild ride for the night.

The setting is reminiscent of a Stockman’s Camp complete with bush sounds and free roaming wildlife. Sit back and enjoy the huge star filled sky, share a few yarns while you sip your billy tea.

A truly unique Outback Bush Camp Tucker Experience, you wont get anywhere else..

It sounded interesting, so we booked for 700pm and did nothing but laze about until our taxi fetched us at 630! As we were prepping ourselves to go out, drinking our illegal beer and wine, we wished we had just stayed in. But there is no Uber here and definitely no Uber Eats.

The taxi driver, who had been on the job two days, could neither understand our accent nor figure out where it was we were going. So out came google maps and we found our way as a team. Bless. I was very pleased with his music of choice though. Nothing like some full on rapping profanity to kick start your evening.

Marksies was only 7km out of town, so we were there in no time. But not actually there, we ended up at the neighbouring property instead.

The chap who greeted us was very understanding and was accompanied by a little wallaby. This little chap was following him around like a puppy, in fact we could pat him. He was orphaned and had been hand raised. So damn cute! We were escorted to the correct location and the evening began.

Markie can talk the hind leg off a chicken. And he has stories. There was about thirty of us listening intently to the tales of the stockmen and the cooks at stations across Australia dating back to the early 1900. It was very interesting.

The night was not comfortable though, we were being bombarded by bugs that would get into your hair or fly down your top. And the outside dinner was accompanied by a, less than enjoyable, aroma of road kill. And I mean bad, real bad! I could not help but think, were those bugs freshly hatched from the rotting corpse nearby. Less than ideal.

Part of the experience includes how to make bush tea, and swinging the billy. This ensures the tea is infused correctly and that the leaves do not rise to the top. What do I care, I don’t drink tea. I do however, now have a certificate for successfully swinging the billy. You will also be pleased to hear that I swung overarm, not underarm.

The certificate will be available for viewing.

900pm rolls around and our taxi arrives to pick us up, at the wrong location again.

It was an interesting experience, I don’t think it was worth the money, and maybe we were too tired to fully enjoy it. We bid our farewells and head back to the motel. Bed is calling.

Another early start tomorrow, as we have to be at the Katherine Gorge by 745am. Chloe told us to leave at 630. Oh for a sleep in!

Good night, tomorrow THE GORGE!

Katherine Gorge – June 10^th

Turns out that it is only a 40-minute drive to the gorge and the roads are blissfully quiet, and the sun is coming out. We make it in plenty of time to have our prepacked breakfast and feed some of the local birds.

The birds here are pretty bloody stunning. We were surrounded by the Blue Face Honey Eater, and they were not shy, eating out of our hands and hoping up on the table. We were also feeding some sort of pigeon type bird, but it was lovely and cute, and clearly very respectful of the BFHE even though it was double the size.

There was also a couple of kookaburras. Thought they refused to be enticed down, even with promises of bread and ham. Other tourists started to arrive so it was time to farewell our feathered friends.

The tour starts with a 30-minute boat ride up through gorge one. You do not swim, canoe, or kayak in gorge one. Well, you might. But you would only do it once as salt water crocodiles are confirmed to live there. And they will eat you. Or at the very least bite you and store you under water until they are ready to eat you.

The skipper informs us that no salties, using my local lingo now, have been found in gorge two and three (YET) and it is safe for us to paddle and swim. The way they throw around the word “yet” both amuses and concerns me. But I think Jason looks way more appetizing than I do, so I should be fine.

The boat deposits you at the pickup location for the canoes. From there on in, you are on your own to do as you please. There are about 30 people in total, and its lovely to be self-managed.

We spend the next three and a half hours paddling up gorge 2, then carrying our canoes to gorge 3 where we continue paddling until we reach the end. You can carry your canoe to gorge 4 but the distance and rocks just make it a miserable idea. So we climb, we site see, we swim. In general, have a bloody lovely time.

The water is warmer than Lake Argyle and the pool at the motel, so we enjoy the swim. You do wonder what is lurking beneath. Again, pays not to think about it.

There were tracks off the side of the river where we went exploring, we didn’t bring any hiking shoes with us, so we did the only sensible thing. We walked in bare feet (no snakes, no snakes, no snakes) to a beautiful waterfall. As we were all doing our own thing, we had the place to ourselves, stunning.

Aboriginal rock art sites were scattered along the river, but after much clambering and scaling of rocks, the expedition was abandoned due to health concerns (Jason’s physical health if I had fallen).

We slowly make our way back to the meeting point and are safely returned to Keem. We had intended to do a hike around the walls of the gorge, but the canoeing has wiped us out. So we have our lunch and prepare for Kakadu. Our next stop and our last stop living out of the turtle.

Warning this day may contain nudity 

A relaxed start to the day. This time we were having a breakfast of bacon and eggs. A bit of a change from the normal salmon and eggs. The hardship of life on the road.

As we sit down for breakfast, two bites in, I dump the entire contents of my breakfast. Not wanting to waste food I tried to catch it between my knees. And yes, I am wearing shorts. I successfully save a very hot slice of bacon and a poached egg, before burning myself and letting the lot drop to ground.

Ultimately it was all wasted and I burnt my leg in the process. Muppet!

I was grumpy at myself for doing something so stupid, so no breakfast for me. That’ll teach me.

I know you can all picture this. Sigh.

On the way to Victoria River Roadhouse we saw a lookout walk, and we decided we wanted to do the walk before driving to Katherine, which was only two hours away.

We packed up the turtle, jumped into Keem and headed the few kilometers to the Escarpment Lookout at Gregory National Park. There is only one other vehicle in the carpark at least it won’t be crowded.

It is 830am and 24 degrees already. The walk is only 1.8km return, but it is straight up! Off we go!

Its moments like this when I have to check my sanity, and the levels are always a lot lower than I expect. Every time I think, wow that looks like fun and we should do it, about 30 minutes in I am sweaty, out of breath, and wondering WTF!

The views on the way up are very impressive. We both return to our individual stances on snake avoidance and continue walking. Stopping for pictures and water intermittently.

We had neared the top when we heard voices of fellow walkers ahead. Then Jason says “ohhh” I look up to get a full frontal of a gentleman, completely naked except for his backpack, his flaccid manhood swaying away freely. He very quickly cups himself and dashes behind a bush.

Too late though buddy, what was seen cannot be unseen.

Not quite the nature I was looking for.

His wife comes towards us, fully clothed I might add, to explain that her husband was very hot and sweating through his clothes. He thought that since they were up here alone, he may as well strip down and go au natural!

Well of course, who wouldn’t do that? Um, just about anyone else, that is who.

Judging from his all over tan that I was privy to, this is something he does often.

They are German and I can’t help but think that his backpack straps looked like he had left on the suspenders from his lederhosen. OMG how it still makes me laugh now.

Jason said Fritz (no idea what his actual name is) was not perturbed when he saw Jason, but moved awfully quickly when he saw me. He quickly put on his boxer shorts (yep that is all) and they went their way, we went ours. Still laughing.

Anyway, the rest of our walk was uneventful, the views were stunning, we heard a lot of things dashing for cover, we saw a wallaby on the side of the track, and back to the car. Still laughing.

Off to Katherine. 197kms.

Long straight roads, blue skies, no clouds, and tonight WE HAVE A MOTEL BOOKED.

Lake Argyle of Argyle Diamond Fame

It’s a quiet and calm start to the day. I get up early and take photos of the sunrise. Cause I can. And we are surrounded by Pukekos! This fills Jason with joy, NOT, here they are called Purple Swan Hens. Its quite nice seeing thing little reminder of home.

A delicious breakfast of poached eggs with salmon, domestic chores completed, and off we go to Lake Argyle.

It is only 74kms from where we are staying so we have plenty of time for the leisurely drive.

It’s my turn to drive again, and I have lots of time to perfect the Queen. Though I have had to limit it to one crescent turn, as it took too long to finish and the drivers had missed the full effect!

Even though we have plenty of time, it does NOT mean I am happy to drive behind some selfish fool, who drives 40km under the speed limit, wanders across the road, comes to a rolling stop for corners, and refuses to let anyone pass.

That sort of individual should be taken out into the desert, there is one nearby, and shot.

We arrive at Lake Argyle Resort (there goes that word again) and Caravan Park. It’s beautiful and as the name indicates, right next to Lake Argyle. The temperature is already hitting 24 degrees. We watch an antiquated video on how the lake was created. You have to love the health and safety, the guys all in stubbies, steel cap boots, no shirts. Quite amazing though.

As we wait on our little bus to take us to the jetty, it is check out time at the resort. There are literally dozens and dozens of massive caravans and 4×4 vehicles lined up to depart. It’s an exhibition of the type of money you can invest into this lifestyle. Our bus used a different exit, thank god, as the line of grey haired wanderers extended as far as the eye could see.

The project was all finished on time, but they ran out of money to do the clean up, so all the equipment was left at the site and now resides under the lake. Rusting away.

So clearly Lake Argyle is a manmade lake. It is Australia’s second largest (Lake Gordon/Lake Pedder, Tasmania is the largest) artificial lake by area.

At full supply level the area of the lake formed by the Ord Dam is 980 square kilometres and impounds 10.7 million mega litres of water, over 18 times the volume of water contained in Sydney Harbour! If the lake ever does flood to its maximum capacity, then the volume will more than triple – Sydney Harbour could be filled more than 70 times.

The catchment area for the lake is larger than Switzerland! It feeds many of the surrounding regions daily.

We are booked on the Island Explorer Lunch Cruise. These things can often be corny and too busy, but we struck it lucky this time and had a wonderful time.

Our hosts, Sam (the skipper, are all skippers named Sam?), Mark, and Katie. They are funny, knowledgeable, friendly, and helpful. We go to Crocodile Cove, to see bird’s nests, watch pelicans, see Short Eared Rock Wallabies (I could not make that name up), there is even a pull down chart for information and Q&A about the lake!

They make us lunch, freshwater fish BBQd on the boat, whilst we dock at a little island for a swim and a stone skimming competition.

The water is not warm, but we decide to go in anyway. All under the watchful eye of George our resident crocodile and life guard. Yes, seriously, George was about 20 meters down the beach from us as we were all frolicking about in the water.

Jason had spied the ladder up to the roof of the boat, and after a quick chat with Mark is scrambling up there.

He does the best bomb into the water of his life. If this was the water bomb Olympics he got the gold, no need for anyone else to compete. He saturated anyone that was near the end of the boat, the splash went above the roof of the boat, and sound sent shockwaves.

He apologized to those he drenched, but even they could tell he didn’t mean it.

I have to admit, I was proud, and he could not stop giggling like a girl for the rest of the day.

Even now, as he is reading this, he starts giggling.

Classic.

Lunch was great, the tour wonderful, it was a good swim, and just what we were looking for.

As we were heading back to the resort, I started working on our next route. We were hoping to get to Victoria River Roadhouse, to break up the trip to Katherine as much as possible. It is a six hour drive to Katherine from Lake Argyle and not something we wanted to do in one day.

It was at this exact moment I discovered that 30kms from Lake Argyle was the border for the Northern Territory. Which also meant a change in time zone. So when we cross this border we lose 1.5 hours. Bloody weird and annoying and inconvenient.

Our rental contract says we are not allowed to drive at night, probably too many tourists thumping into kangaroos, wallabies, and the like. So this could impact our ability to get to our destination.

It just feels really weird, the sun will rise and set at the same time, but the clock will state otherwise. I guess I should have done my homework on this.

We jump into Keem and make a start, its 317kms to Victoria River Roadhouse. No time to lose.

There was, of course, time to stop at the border and get a photo of us crossing into the Northern Territory J where the speed limit is 130kms an hour. Brilliant. The roads are terrible but at least you can drive faster…

The time leaps forward 1.5 hours. We continue with our game of the wave and spotting different animals.

Now, I don’t know if anyone else suffers from this, but when you are studiously looking for something your eyes start making shit up.

So on top of all the animals and trees we are looking for, we are starting to find a lot of other things:

• Logadiles – I have spoken of before, when a log looks like a crocodile
• Punga Pig –a tree looks like an animal
• Termammal – when termite nests look like mammals

Road hallucinations.

There is not a great deal to see along this road, and we were passing the time searching for anything of interest. We were making good time though, 130kms an hour meant we were going to make it to the Victoria River Roadhouse without an issue.

I drove the last hour, which was a bit nerve wracking as it was getting darker and generally that’s when the animals start getting active – the witching hour. I did not want a dead wallaby on my conscious.

YAY, we successfully made it without death or injury, with the light still on us, and with enough time to set up camp.

We even had enough light to do a bit of exploring. The Victoria River was just down behind the camp and we decided to go for a walk via some very tall reeds. The light was fading and it gave the entire campsite an eerie feeling. Think horror movie:

• Boy says to girl “wait here, its dangerous”
• Girl says ok, then goes anyway (stupid girl)
• Girl is never seen again or found with a non recoverable injury

But I hate stereo types, and if anyone was going to disappear it was Jason. As we walked through the path you could hear something very large moving in the reeds. VERY large. This was making Jason just a little twitchy – actually a lot twitchy.

Of course I was sympathetic – OF COURSE I WASN’T.

We made it to the old bridge, where a tree was firmly wedged in the railing. Most likely from flood waters during some extreme weather in the wet season. As the light faded we watched kangaroos, wallabies, and bats before heading back to camp.

On the way back there were a few more noises in the reeds, but the best bit was when Jason knocked a branch with his leg, causing the reeds to rattle, causing him to yelp and jump simultaneously. That’s right folks, he did it to himself. Of course I would have saved him, but in the interim, it was very funny.

The setting of the roadhouse was very nice, but the facilities were lacking a little. I do think that the owners of such places should have to use the facilities to see how user friendly they are. Feel our pain. Things like hooks or benches in the shower stalls. Bench tops next to sinks for dishes. The little things.

Another exquisite dinner by Chef Walford. Into bed, time zone is messing with us, but it’s dark, so we go to bed.

Middle of the night toilet stop, the usual (my god I am old before my time – the night is measured by the proximity to the toilet), and the amount of kangaroos and wallabies hanging out was very cool. We got to watch them for a while before they turned and hopped off. The howls of the dingoes and the bats screeching, it was all very magical J especially as they kept out of our tent.

Kununurra

We rock into this metropolis at 400pm, we need to fill up, stock up, and find a place to camp for the night.

Diesel here is cheaper, thank god because Keem has a drinking problem!

There is a Coles supermarket too, which is rather exciting for us, so we get some fresh fruit and vegetables, plus steak for the night. Off to the Thirsty Camel for some alcoholic beverages.

Kununurra is not a dry town, but they do have to adhere to the WA alcohol purchasing laws. That means:

• You must show ID whenever you purchase alcohol
• You can only purchase a certain amount of alcohol per person i.e. 1 litre of spirits, or 3 bottles of wine per day. There go my plans for the night!
• If you are found guilty of any alcohol related naughtiness you are banned from buying alcohol for one month. BUT that is only takeaway alcohol, you can still get legless at a bar!

Seriously though, they take your licence and scan it, so you are on record as having bought alcohol that day, you cannot simply nip round the corner to another outlet.

What I did find amusing was the drive through service. If you cannot be bothered getting out of the car to buy your booze, they will take care of that for you.

There are lots of camp grounds here, so we opt for the Kununarra Lakeside Resort.

TANGENT: Resort is a widely used word meaning a place you can sleep, but is not necessarily anything like an actual resort. What we have started to realise is that resort means they have a restaurant and bar onsite.

Anyway, our resort is close and its pretty. We have a spot one back from the lake. I guess it gives us one layer of protection from the mosquitoes, something we have not had to think about until now.

We have our setup routine nailed so we are settled with cold drink in hand within 40 minutes of check in.

Jason whips up another amazing meal, we watch part of a movie and climb into the turtle for bedtime.

Tomorrow we are going to Lake Argyle! Our tour is booked for 10am. So we can even have a sleep in.

311kms with a Brief Stop

Our next place of rest is the Bungle Bungles Caravan Park. We have to drive through Halls Creek to get there, which is a good thing as we will need dinner and lunch supplies.

On the way we drive past Mistake Creek, and I really need to tell you about this place. So, sometime ago, around 1915, some Kija people were said to have been killed by men under the control of a Constable Rhatigan. They were killed for allegedly killing Rhatigan’s cow, BUT!!! the cow is said to have been found alive and well after the massacre had already taken place. Bloody awesome, ai m sure a quick apology and the naming of a creek made up for that.

Rhatigan was arrested for wilful murder apparently due to the fact that the killers were riding horses which belonged to him, but the charges were dropped, for lack of evidence that he was personally involved.

There are some that debate this, but it is aboriginal lore and there are old cave paintings depicting the massacre.

Something to think about…

Back to supplies!

It sounds like we stock up a lot, but actually our fridge is only 40 litres capacity, and by the time you put the beer and wine in there, there is very little room left. And my husband, bless him, has a habit of just dumping everything in without forethought. Salads are squished to unrecognisable so we just buy as we go.

We reach Halls Creek and, to our delight, find a fantastic butchery and a bakery!!!! Happy days. No alcohol is sold in Halls Creek though, as this is another dry community. According to the local butcher, this encourages bootlegging. If you are lucky you can buy a box (2 dozen) VB for $125. Jesus WEPT!

The reason Halls Creek has the finer things (except for alcohol), rather than supermarket only meat and frozen bread, is because it supplies the local gold mine, which is still in operation.

We give Keem a good feed too, back on the road. Another 109kms until Bungle Bungle Caravan Park. https://bunglebunglecaravanpark.com.au/ definitely recommend it! If you are passing by.

The road, you will be shocked to hear, is long and flat! An easy drive, but not overly distinguishable.

We arrive at Bungle Bungles Caravan Park just before midday. Very productive and relieved to have a rest from driving. The camp ground looks like a set from MASH, all army green and brown tents, with intermittent $100k caravans driven by the grey nomads.

TANGENT: The grey nomads really know how to travel in style. A lot of the caravans have extension walls, pull out cookers, and one lady told me about the little wall mounted washing machine in her bathroom.

No one was really able to tell me where the name Bungle Bungles came from. I really liked it, sounds fun. The aboriginal name is Purnululu and comes from the Aboriginal Gija people, meaning ‘fretting sands’. It is suggested that Bungle Bungles is reference to Bundle Bundle, a Kimberley grass. But that makes no sense, to me anyway.

It is another hot day, and the sky is blue with no clouds, making it four in row.

It is too late to drive into the national park, only 52km away, but the road is said to be unpleasant, windy, and with boulders blocking your way. We opt to go first thing in the morning. So we have the afternoon to do whatever we please.

And we please to go up in a helicopter for a bit of a jaunt. With our turtle fully established, we pay our extortionate amount of money and head off for an hour of sightseeing. The full hour option covered the Triple Falls, the Bungle Bungle Range and the Ord River, and Mabel Downs Cattle Station.

Turns out our pilot is a Kiwi, Chris the Kiwi helicopter pilot. This guy was freaking awesome.

Now is probably the time to point out I was scared, sphincter tightening scared, Jason had happily pointed out that this particular make and model of helicopter Robinson R44 Raven, is renowned chopping its own tail off and falling from the sky.

And we had no doors! Thank god we had amazingly strong looking seatbelts! Nope, nope, they looked the same as those you get in in bumper cars. BUT, I didn’t want to say anything so I just got in, belted up, and well, belted up.

Off we went. Up, up, up, and fucking up! I actually calmed down relatively quickly, I don’t think Chris or Jason noticed, and I definitely resisted the urge to grab Chris and tell him how much I didn’t want to die right now.

It was amazing, and beautiful, and breathtaking. The hour went so fast. Chris was brilliant, he knew his stuff about the region and he also realised, because we are Kiwis too, that showing us any Australian “mountains” would be farcical.

Instead he took us to see extra valleys that he had not yet explored, talked us through the history of the land, and the station on it. Bloody awesome, and really worth it, we got a much greater appreciation for the enormity of feature. During some seismic activity, the entire mass popped up out of the earth millions of years ago. Magical.

There are rock formations that look like beehives, the type you would see on the packet of beehive matches (that’s going back a long way). Mounds of rock with black and orange stripes, see photos, some people think this is why the place is called Bungle Bungles, but no. They are just created by the pressure of the rock coming out of the earth, with layers of rock having a bacterial element, making them a darker colour. Looks cool though.

One minute the land is dry and barren looking, then boom, palm trees, waterfalls, and flowing rivers. Stunning, and not something we would have seen from our walk in the next day.

Whilst it was an expensive outing, it was well worth it and we are pretty sure we were gone longer than an hour. Thanks Chris and Bungle Bungle Caravan Park.

We had a few hours of chilling out.

The caravan park has a firepit. And from 500pm everyone gathers around the firepit, has a few drinks. You can BYO or buy from the bar. BLOODY AWESOME IDEA, you leave your own little boundary and actually talk to your neighbours.

We spoke to some very lovely people and got lots of hints and tips from each person. We liked it so much we did not get back to our campsite until after 7! My god, what a late night. We cooked dinner, and crawled into the turtle. No wind, great sleep.

TANGENT: I have changed people! Gone is the tough Kiwi who could brush off the 5 degree mornings, now when it is down to 14 degrees, I have to rug up and double hoodie! Its quite sad really, but oh well. The warmth is where the fun is J

Purnululu National Park / Bungle Bungles

We knew that the tour bus left for the Bungle Bungles at 630am, and we did not want to be stuck behind the bus. So we deflated tyres, packed up camp, and were on the road by 620. Ready for the serious off roading we had been promised.

We had been told it would take 1.5 to two hours to drive in there, so we were prepared for the worst. But, the worst turned out to be pretty average. Jason was quite disappointed, as we kept expecting the road to get a little exciting, instead, we made it in one hour.

On the upside, it meant we were the first ones there!

According to everyone we spoke to, there were two must see features of the Purnululu. Echidna Chasm and Cathedral Gorge. Both of these are at either end of the park, so you need to drive 50km between the two.

We started with the Echidna Chasm. You leave the carpark and walk up a rocky river bed, it is hard going, but pretty, and you simply follow the palm trees. Occasionally clamouring over boulders, climbing ladders.

The entire track glows with an orange hue coming off the surrounding rocks. Beautiful, and with no other tourists to be seen, very peaceful.

As you go further into the chasm the echo gets better and better. As I lack the ability to whistle, the best I could do was call out BOOP. And that works perfectly well. The walls of the chasm has steep are up to 200 metres high and barely a metre wide in places. So if you don’t like confined spaces, not the best place to hang out. The return walk is 1.6 kilometres doesn’t take long, but it is very pretty. Well worth doing.

We walk back down the path and start to meet the tourists coming in. Nice timing indeed. But we know we will catch up with the bus loads eventually.

We drive the 50kms to the next feature, Cathedral Gorge. When we arrived at car park it was pretty busy, so time to set up our cooker and its my turn to cook breakfast. I make scrambled eggs buns with smoked salmon.

The only problem was it was warm, and the flies were out in force. I sat in the car after a while to eat in peace, but the little bastards found me in there too. I abandoned my breakfast halfway through, but Jason has a far better constitution than me so finished his and helped with mine a little too.

Camp oven and dishes all safely stored back inside Keem we hit the trail. Despite the number of cars the trail is surprisingly quiet, excellent. Its an easy walk to the Cathedral and it is beautiful. It really is like an amphitheatre with amazing acoustics – there were more BOOPs. There is also a pool of water which adds to the beauty of the place.

Hard to explain, you are in absolute awe of the size, and the possibility that a small shift in the rock would squish you like a bug.

The tour groups started to catch up with us, so we started our return journey. Well worth the effort, flies, and heat. There were other walks to lookouts and so on, but Chris has already said, once you’ve seen them from the helicopter, there really is not point.

Time for some more dirt road driving as we leave Purnululu and head to our next stop. Kununurra.

This is 272kms from the Bungle Bungles Caravan park, a pretty easy drive, the roads appear to be long, and straight. Despite all the people we meet at the camp grounds the roads are never really busy. Its my turn to drive as Jason did all the off road work.

96kms – Not Far Really

Ian, our lovely host in Derby, had recommend the Mimbi Caves tour. So we rearranged a few things to make that happen. It is only held twice a day, 8am and 2pm. And there is a camp site right across the road owned and operated by the same people.

We were met at the entrance by Ronnie, from the aboriginal community. Over the next three hours he entertained, informed, and fed us. It was great. He was funny and took the time to explain the history (which is just bloody depressing) and the mythology of the area (far more enjoyable than the bible IMHO).

Mimbi Caves: https://www.mimbicaves.com.au/

All part of the 350 million year old Devonian Reef system. The Gooniyandi guide takes you back to a time when local Aboriginal people inhabited this unique network of caves that have been carved out of this ancient fossilised reef system over millions of years.

There were only four of us on the tour so we were able to go at our own pace, ask lots of questions, and generally do whatever we pleased – my preferred way of operating as you all know.

At the end of the tour, before we walk back to our vehicles, there is billy tea, dampers (made by Ronnie’s 5^th wife – he thinks she is number 5), and a sing song, including an original by Ronnie himself. Most enjoyable.

As I mentioned the camp site is only across the road, and down a long meandering driveway. It is secluded and only four sets of travellers including us. It’s not a camp site as you would imagine it. But it has hot showers (exaggeration, it has warm showers), BBQ facilities, and toilets.

Our little fridge can happily run off the secondary battery in the truck so our beer and wine was still cold. Oh and the food, the food was chilled too.

We set up the turtle, cooked dinner under the stars.

One of the best things about this little site is the lack of light pollution, so the clear sky was filled with stars, stunning.

After watching a movie on the laptop we climed into the turtle and went to sleep.

Then the wind came, and never fucking stopped. The fly on the tent was whipping around like it was possessed and at around 1am even Jason had given up on sleep and we tried everything to make our little wind tunnel less noisy.

Climbing down the ladder, disconnecting the awning and trying to tie everything up.

Nothing helped. And there was nowhere else to go.

At around 200am I had a brainwave, out of desperation Jason ferreted out our Bose headsets, the noise cancelling ones you use on the plane to block out screaming children and complaining passengers.

In this instance the Bose was used to block out the wind. By 230am we were asleep. Thank you Bose, worth every dollar spent.

Note: the little turtle set up is great, but not in the wind, not at all, nope, nope, nope.

Breakfast in the cold wind, we jumped without hesitation into the warm comfort of dirty girl Keem. Time to hit the road. This time we are off to the Bungle Bungles. Yes, that is a place.

Bungle Bungles 311kms with a Brief Stop

Our next place of rest is the Bungle Bungles Caravan Park. We have to drive through Halls Creek to get there, which is a good thing as we will need dinner and lunch supplies.

It sounds like we stock up a lot, but actually our fridge is only 40 litres capacity, and by the time you put the beer and wine in there, there is very little room left. And my husband, bless him, has a habit of just dumping everything in without forethought. Salads are squished to unrecognisable so we just buy as we go.

We reach Halls Creek and, to our delight, find a fantastic butchery and a bakery!!!! Happy days.

The reason Halls Creek has the finer things, rather than supermarket only meat and bread, is because it supplies the local gold mine, which is still in operation.

We give Keem a good feed too, back on the road. Another 109kms until Bungle Bungle Caravan Park.

The road, you will be shocked to hear, is long and flat! An easy drive, but not overly distinguishable.

We arrive at Bungle Bungle Caravan Park just before midday. Very productive and relieved to have a rest from driving. The camp ground looks like a set from MASH, all army green and brown tents, with intermittent 100k caravans.

TANGENT: The grey nomads really know how to travel in style. A lot of the caravans have extension walls, pull out cookers, and one lady told me about the little wall mounted washing machine in her bathroom.